>Harvard's Manage Mentor Module: Keeping Teams on Target<
Dealing with Discomfort
“Leaders… should… provide an environment that promotes disagreement.” Hold on a second did I read that right? Is Paul Michelman really saying that as a leader I should promote disagreement? It seems so. And he goes on to explain. “Healthy conflict enables teams to bring all team knowledge and opinions to the surface, which leads to better decisions.” It makes sense but the words conflict and disagreement are words that for me have always brought negative connotations. This is an area that as a leader I struggle most.
Michelman however was not the only author in this module that taught the importance of facing conflict when leading a team. In Harvard’s Management Communication publication newsletter the authors give multiple scenarios in which facing conflict is essential. They advise that when someone on a team explodes that you calmly ask the person to “pleas sit down, stop pounding the table and settle down.” Or when you have that team member that analysis every flaw of all the given suggestions that you respond by saying, “Sue, you’ve made it very clear shy you think these ideas won’t work. What do you think will?” Or when you have that guy that is muttering comments at the back of the room under his breath you say, “I’m sorry John, I didn’t catch that comment. Can you repeat it please? I don’t like to miss anyone’s contribution.”
As I sat here reading my stomach started turning uncomfortably as I realized that as a leader I avoid these types of direct confrontation. I want every one to simply get along and when they don’t I avoid the situations. Which of course never works but I have tried fooling myself into believing that someday I would know the perfect painless answer. Well thanks Harvard, you have shattered that delusion.
I was very much in need of the module. It awakened me to the unpleasant reality that if I am going to become a good leader I must learn how to effectively face and even start conflicts in order to achieve the greater good. I must learn that disagreements are healthy and in fact essential to a productive team.
Why is this so hard for me? I believe it stems from my personality type which never wants to cause others discomfort. I have often found myself telling small white lies in order to mask or hide the truth in order to spare another person’s feelings. But I must admit that in the long run these seemingly insignificant deceptions lead to a break down first in communication and then in the rest of the relationship.
From this module I am learning that being uncomfortable or making others uncomfortable is not necessarily a bad thing. It is a part of life. It brings to mind Brice C Hafen’s quote “The church is not here to only comfort the afflicted but to afflict the comfortable.”
Due to this module I am now setting the goal that when faced with an uncomfortable situation I will not shy away but instead I will be assertive and confront the issue or individual that is contributing to y discomfort. Not to attack but to allow others to understand my feelings and perspectives and open the doors for more sincere and productive communication.

Letter to Brother Adams

Brother Adams,
I have a few concerns concerning our comm. 250 class. Being that you are, almost without failure, always surrounded by students in need of your time I decided that this would be the most effective way of communicating with you. I would first like to say how excited I am about the opportunities your teaching style is creating for us as students. You are unlike any professor I have ever had and because of this the possibilities and potential of this class seem limitless. I am however somewhat unsure of a few things and for my own personal sanity need a bit of enlightenment. Below are some of the questions that I have formulated this last week. For some I think I understand their answer but I just want to get affirmation that I am on the right track.

∑ Come April 5th what should each of us, your students, walk away with? I am begging to understand the purpose of “The Firm” but being that “the Firm” is only an organizational that is to give us hands on experience as we reach our goal I want to make sure that I understand what the overall purpose is. From what I have gathered when each of us leave this class we should be able to:
o Understand the principles and tools needed for the effective organization of any type of group.
o Understand how to apply these principles in the various groups we are and will be in. (Elders Quorums, Relief societies, school societies, business etc.)


∑ What materials are we going to use to learn the principles and tools for effective group organizations? You have on multiple occasions made reference to resources such as “The 7 Habits.” I fortunately have read the majority of the material that you have made reference to and therefore am ready for “The Firm” as an opportunity to put these things into practice. However I do know that a good number of my classmates are unfamiliar with these materials and are at a loss for what exactly it takes to organize a group let alone help with the organizing of another company. Today for instance you began to teach us what the 7 habits are. My mind raced as I started putting these principles together in my head with what can be done to apply them to our current situation but when talking to others in the class I am realizing that they don’t seem to be connecting the dots.

Being that I am currently part of the group dynamics course I have had the fortunate opportunity to work on Harvard Manage Mentor Modules that teach the tools and principles needed for effective group organization. Is there any way we could implement some of these into our class curriculum to help arm us with the tools that the in class, hands on applications, our requiring of us?

∑ How will class and “The Firm” be lead and organized? You have made it clear that you want to only be a resource but until we have some type of class leadership we will remain dependent on you as the leader. Will we be able to organize our selves outside of individual groups and as a class as a whole? You have started calling assignments “suggestions” alluding to the idea that you want us to decide but as of yet I feel that we are powerless as we are not having the opportunity to make decisions. Do you want us to take more initiative and start organizing ourselves with out your prompting or will you be leading us into the process in future class periods?


Overall I want to understand what our purpose and goals are and what we are allowed to do in getting ourselves there. You have presented us with the exciting opportunity to take our education into our own hands at a level of control we have never before been entrusted with. I know that we have what it takes to meet the challenge but we need to have a thorough understanding of what the challenge is and what we are allowed to do in meeting it. Once this has been established I am confident that the resources, knowledge and creativity we have as individuals will be able to come together to create a synergy that will become a life changing experience in each of our lives!

Thank you for pushing us to new heights of education. Every time I am in class I feel like my paradigms of the way I view myself and my future work are being challenged and changed for the good!

Thank you,
Nathan H. Reagan

Case Study: NASA: Organizational Analysis

I am currently part of the Organization Team. As a team we have been reviewing the Harvard Case Study on the contributing factors which lead to the Columbia Disaster NASA’s. Today our team analyzed the organizational problems. Here are a few of our observations:
• One of the main issues contributing to NASA’s overall poor organization its culture, a culture that starts with us, the citizens of the United States. We are a culture that has high demands and expectations. We want to see results, while at the same time we want someone else to find ways around the obstacles. If a short cut will equal faster results then we not only support them but expect them. This mind set has lead to an organization where an emphasis on results has lead to the neglection of using resources to properly analyze and reconstructs organizational structure. This unfortunately has minimized production as it has lead to insanely costly set backs and inefficient spending.
• NASA has amazing talent and incredible brains working in its organization but because of its complicated bureaucratic and unclear structure its most valuable resource are not able to contribute their full knowledge and capabilities. Vital information and insights that those at the ground level have are not able to effectively get to upper management where the major decisions are taking place.

Motivation: Driving the Donkey

Today in class we discussed the four ways people can be motivated to get results.

1) Reward/Dangling the Carrot: Dangling a carrot in front of the Donkey. Motivation through presenting an attainable reward. Examples: Grades in school or a salary at work.

2) Fear/The driving whip: Driving the Donkey by whipping at it hind. Motivation through the presence of fear. Examples: Fear of Job Security, or fear of losing love or respect.

3) Control & Focus: Getting on the Donkey putting a bit in its mouth and blinders on its eyes. Motivation by firm control and by screening out any thing outside of straight line of sight. Examples: Organization where goals and objectives are given without the allowance of input and feedback and creativity is discouraged.

4)Purpose & Passion: Inspiring the Donkey to be self motivated. Motivation through tapping into each individuals goals, passions and motivations. Examples: Students learning for knowledge not a grade, company synergy created by each individual feeling important and fulfilled to and by their company.

Class Introductions

>First class Assignment given to aid us in getting to know our classmates.<

1) Best lessons in Leadership
One of the most valuable lessons I have learned was taught to me this last semester. I learned the power a leader can when he shows genuine trust for those he is leading. I started last semester with a Bishop the believed that best way to make our ward abide by the honor code was accusing us of breaking it in order to see if we would confess. Each Sunday was another dread three hour meeting filled with continual chastisement and firm warnings. I began to despise the honor code and did not care if I broke it in small ways. I lost a lot of respect for my Bishop as he continually preached at us void of genuine concern and compassion.

I was fortunate to have the opportunity to change wards mid semester, in doing so I was assigned a new ward and with it a new Bishop. Within one minute of stepping into my new home ward my new bishop was at my side introducing himself and I immediately felt his immensely unconditional love for me. But what struck me even more profoundly was the way with which he spoke to me and the rest of the ward. Never did he rebuke or warn. When he spoke of the honor code he spoke with passion about how blessed we were to have it and the immense blessings that came into our lives because of it. Then without repeating any of the rules or reminding us of consequences he would say, “I know that you know the Honor code and that I can trust you to follow it.”

From the very first time I heard him speak these words me negativity toward the honor code began to fade away. I started being much more mindful of the small things that earlier I had slacked on. At first I didn’t understand why? I had already known of the importance of the Honor code and the blessings that come from obedience. What was so different about Bishop Palmer’s way of teaching it?

After starting Stephen M R Covey’s latest book, “The Speed of Trust” I realized what it was. TRUST! Palmer’s trust was something I did not want to loose. He had given it to me freely and I wanted to prove I was worthy of it. I wanted to rise to his loving challenge and become the person he thought me to be.

I also realized that though I could loose his trust there was something I would never loose, his love. President Palmer emanated unconditional love. A love that I could trust would be given to me regardless of me actions. This helped me understand my worth. Which intern magnified my desire to live up to my value.


2) Best Lessons in Communicating
I have always been a person who has had a very hard time being honest with people when I feel that it will in anyway hurt their feelings. This has lead to painful disintegration in many of my close relationships because I am unwilling to tell those I am closest to when they have hurt my feelings or are doing things that frustrate or annoy me. A huge part of my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is double, triple, and quadruple guessing myself when it come to such situations. I find myself bouncing back and forth between believing that the other person is wrong or that I am wrong, or I obsessive over “What would Jesus do.” thinking that if I were more Christ like nothing would bother or offend me and that to be like Christ I just need to let everything go and not cause conflict.

This last semester has been amazingly beneficial with this very anxiety prone area of my life. By taking an Interpersonal Communications class I learned two principles that have lead to a huge paradigm shift, one, understanding the power and benefits of being assertive and second, understanding the difference between conflict and contention.
As I read the chapter on being assertive I realized that I have had many issues in life because of my black and white thinking of “either you are wrong or I am wrong.” I never realized that both people can actually be “OK.” By approaching conflicts from this stand point one is in no way attacking or assigning blame to the other person rather simply identifying differences and working out a “win, win solution.” Reading this chapter helped me understand the tremendous positive benefits and productivity of being assertive and helped me understand that the most Christ like thing I can do is to be such.

Late in the semester we had an insightful discussion on conflict that I was very much in need of in my life. I hate conflict! I run from it and postpone it for as long as possible which unfortunately only makes the conflict bigger when it is finally faced. From our discussion I came to realize that conflict and contention are not the same! This was another huge paradigm shift for me as I realized, once again, that I can initiate conflict without being un-Christ-like! Because of this new realization I am now able to approach conflict more easily and at times even find myself welcoming it as I know that it leads to deeper communication, friendships and amazing solutions. When in a conversation with another person where some type of conflict arises I no longer try to immediately make things more better by do such things as accept all blame and or dismissing the other person’s contribution to the problem. Rather I now acknowledge and accept my and the other persons discomfort and only take responsibility for what I am responsible for and let the other person do the same.

These past few months I have had some very practical real life situations that have allowed me to put this new knowledge to work and I have found that these principles are helping me achieve a much higher level of self confidence.

Last semester I learned that how I feel is valid. If I am angry, upset, depressed, frustrated, or annoyed, I do not need to feel guilty for being a human and therefore having these natural human emotions. As before I stated how I tend to OCD on what would Jesus do. This class has helped me realize that I cannot expect myself to be void of all negative emotion. It in natural and OK that other people lead to me being upset. From this class I learned that when I find that another person’s actions have lead to me feeling a certain way I can take ownership of these feelings and be productive with them. I can approach the other person and describe to them their action and how it leads me to feel, without assigning blame or an interpretation. This allows them to understand how they affected me and allows me to communicate my feelings in a way that is healthy and productive.

By doing this I am finding that I am begging to feel that my feeling are now valid. Who I am and how I feel matters and I no longer need to feel as though I am silent victim of the world.


3) Organizations Experienced
- Boy Scouts of America
-College of the Sequoias Choir
-Tulare Western Marching Band
-Tulare Western Interact (Rotary)
-Tulare Western Tennis Team
-Encore Kids
-COS Conservative Students Association
-City of Tulare, Redevelopment Board
-COS Alpha Gamma Sigma
-LDS Choirs
-Right to Life
-California Republican Committee
-Visalia Institute of Religion Council
-Tulare City School District
-Mervyn’s
-Marry Moo’s Ice Creamery
-APX Home Security
-Montessori
-Cyber Quest
-BYUI Collegiate Ballroom Dance Team
-Melalueca

4) What did you learn from those?
Through my participation with a wide range of various organizations I have come to learn and love the synergy that can be created when a group of people work together with a common goal, passion and organization. However I have also learned that many times there is passion but a lack of thorough organization and a clear common goal.
I have learned that people are a world’s greatest resource and organizations are the tool for utilizing that resource. Many times it is said that there are too many chiefs and to few Indians. I agree but would also add that there are too few chiefs who understand how to effectively organize, inspire and lead a tribe!

I have been amazed at the success of organizations because of the skills of one single leader. It only takes one person to start something great, and if that person has dedicated their life to learning basic principles of truth, working passionately to live by and promote them, many of the individuals around them will also begin doing the same!

5) Traditional American Hot dog is extremely unhealthy because it’s meat.


6) Lived in:
Tulare, California
Rexburg, Idaho

7) Achievements proud of:
-Currently winning my battle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder!
-I have remained strong in my new life style change to Vegan for the past three months!
-Graduated with my AA from College of the Sequoias with academic honors.
-I have conquered my fear of “the world”/people, and have become the confident and outgoing person that I have always wanted to be.


8) Industries interested in:
Organizational Communications
Psychology
Education
Interior Design
Political Science
Health and Organic Farming

9) Future goal:
As Dr. Hartman Author of The Color Code would put it, “To be a person Character,” meaning become a well rounded person in all four of the root “color personality areas.” By doing so I will be able to accomplish those things that will bring me joy and peace in this life. I have had many goals that have come and gone through the years but this is the one that has remained the same. For it is the key to my accomplishment of all of my other life goals.