>Harvard's Manage Mentor Module: Keeping Teams on Target<
Dealing with Discomfort
“Leaders… should… provide an environment that promotes disagreement.” Hold on a second did I read that right? Is Paul Michelman really saying that as a leader I should promote disagreement? It seems so. And he goes on to explain. “Healthy conflict enables teams to bring all team knowledge and opinions to the surface, which leads to better decisions.” It makes sense but the words conflict and disagreement are words that for me have always brought negative connotations. This is an area that as a leader I struggle most.
Michelman however was not the only author in this module that taught the importance of facing conflict when leading a team. In Harvard’s Management Communication publication newsletter the authors give multiple scenarios in which facing conflict is essential. They advise that when someone on a team explodes that you calmly ask the person to “pleas sit down, stop pounding the table and settle down.” Or when you have that team member that analysis every flaw of all the given suggestions that you respond by saying, “Sue, you’ve made it very clear shy you think these ideas won’t work. What do you think will?” Or when you have that guy that is muttering comments at the back of the room under his breath you say, “I’m sorry John, I didn’t catch that comment. Can you repeat it please? I don’t like to miss anyone’s contribution.”
As I sat here reading my stomach started turning uncomfortably as I realized that as a leader I avoid these types of direct confrontation. I want every one to simply get along and when they don’t I avoid the situations. Which of course never works but I have tried fooling myself into believing that someday I would know the perfect painless answer. Well thanks Harvard, you have shattered that delusion.
I was very much in need of the module. It awakened me to the unpleasant reality that if I am going to become a good leader I must learn how to effectively face and even start conflicts in order to achieve the greater good. I must learn that disagreements are healthy and in fact essential to a productive team.
Why is this so hard for me? I believe it stems from my personality type which never wants to cause others discomfort. I have often found myself telling small white lies in order to mask or hide the truth in order to spare another person’s feelings. But I must admit that in the long run these seemingly insignificant deceptions lead to a break down first in communication and then in the rest of the relationship.
From this module I am learning that being uncomfortable or making others uncomfortable is not necessarily a bad thing. It is a part of life. It brings to mind Brice C Hafen’s quote “The church is not here to only comfort the afflicted but to afflict the comfortable.”
Due to this module I am now setting the goal that when faced with an uncomfortable situation I will not shy away but instead I will be assertive and confront the issue or individual that is contributing to y discomfort. Not to attack but to allow others to understand my feelings and perspectives and open the doors for more sincere and productive communication.

Letter to Brother Adams

Brother Adams,
I have a few concerns concerning our comm. 250 class. Being that you are, almost without failure, always surrounded by students in need of your time I decided that this would be the most effective way of communicating with you. I would first like to say how excited I am about the opportunities your teaching style is creating for us as students. You are unlike any professor I have ever had and because of this the possibilities and potential of this class seem limitless. I am however somewhat unsure of a few things and for my own personal sanity need a bit of enlightenment. Below are some of the questions that I have formulated this last week. For some I think I understand their answer but I just want to get affirmation that I am on the right track.

∑ Come April 5th what should each of us, your students, walk away with? I am begging to understand the purpose of “The Firm” but being that “the Firm” is only an organizational that is to give us hands on experience as we reach our goal I want to make sure that I understand what the overall purpose is. From what I have gathered when each of us leave this class we should be able to:
o Understand the principles and tools needed for the effective organization of any type of group.
o Understand how to apply these principles in the various groups we are and will be in. (Elders Quorums, Relief societies, school societies, business etc.)


∑ What materials are we going to use to learn the principles and tools for effective group organizations? You have on multiple occasions made reference to resources such as “The 7 Habits.” I fortunately have read the majority of the material that you have made reference to and therefore am ready for “The Firm” as an opportunity to put these things into practice. However I do know that a good number of my classmates are unfamiliar with these materials and are at a loss for what exactly it takes to organize a group let alone help with the organizing of another company. Today for instance you began to teach us what the 7 habits are. My mind raced as I started putting these principles together in my head with what can be done to apply them to our current situation but when talking to others in the class I am realizing that they don’t seem to be connecting the dots.

Being that I am currently part of the group dynamics course I have had the fortunate opportunity to work on Harvard Manage Mentor Modules that teach the tools and principles needed for effective group organization. Is there any way we could implement some of these into our class curriculum to help arm us with the tools that the in class, hands on applications, our requiring of us?

∑ How will class and “The Firm” be lead and organized? You have made it clear that you want to only be a resource but until we have some type of class leadership we will remain dependent on you as the leader. Will we be able to organize our selves outside of individual groups and as a class as a whole? You have started calling assignments “suggestions” alluding to the idea that you want us to decide but as of yet I feel that we are powerless as we are not having the opportunity to make decisions. Do you want us to take more initiative and start organizing ourselves with out your prompting or will you be leading us into the process in future class periods?


Overall I want to understand what our purpose and goals are and what we are allowed to do in getting ourselves there. You have presented us with the exciting opportunity to take our education into our own hands at a level of control we have never before been entrusted with. I know that we have what it takes to meet the challenge but we need to have a thorough understanding of what the challenge is and what we are allowed to do in meeting it. Once this has been established I am confident that the resources, knowledge and creativity we have as individuals will be able to come together to create a synergy that will become a life changing experience in each of our lives!

Thank you for pushing us to new heights of education. Every time I am in class I feel like my paradigms of the way I view myself and my future work are being challenged and changed for the good!

Thank you,
Nathan H. Reagan